No. Absolutely Not.

There is no need for you to feel the pressure or need from family and friends to provide a Save the Date. Your Wedding Invitation will provide the proper information that your guests will need to gleefully respond with enough time for you to gather your Yes and No Response cards.

But and its a big ol’ one.

If you are not going to do a Save the Date here is what you must do: Give your guests more than enough of time to gather their calendar together to make proper accommodations so that they can attend. Traditionally it has been generally acceptable to send out your Invitations 3 months in advance. That general concept developed over the past few decades. Ya know, basically your parents thought process. But the major difference is that our lives. Yours. Mine. Everybody. Our lives have changed from the 9-5 Mon to Friday job to a circus of working, socializing and more. Be fair and get on your game. Send those Invitations 4 months out. Give your friends and family a few extra moments to get their act together. Avoiding a Save the Date, if that’s your wish, is a-ok with us. We get it. We do them. But we get it. However if you are nixing the Save the Date, give your family a bit more time. BTW, we do Invitations 😉

Wait. You Must Do A Save the Date!

Now, now. We are not going back on our word. Promise. However let us spin it the other way and give you some situations in which case you should most absolutely send a Save the Date. I mean, that is if you want people at your Wedding.

Case 1: Get A Passport
Imagine yourselves on the beaches of Seaside Park, New Jersey with the cast of the Jersey Shore Aruba. Your family and friends joining you for a light dinner, some dancing and drinks on the beach the night before your Wedding. Your fashion is flirty and fun knowing within 24 hours you will be sharing vows with the partner of your life. BAM! Reality Check! Nobody is there because you not only did not send out a Save the Date but you also didn’t go the extra mile like you want family and friends to do. In case with Destination Weddings, you absolutely should send a Save the Date out but also include information that usually goes within the Invitation. Hotel information, Itinerary of the Weekend or days of your event. Will your guests need a Passport? Inform your guests.

Wedding Tip Alert: Something we do for most of our Couples. Im sure you have you created one of those pages on The Knot or WeddingWire.com. What we have done for couples is purchased a Vanity URL. For example: One of our couples we designed for, Lauren and Drew as example. When you visit their Vanity Website ( tomafskywedding.com ) it redirects you to their page on The Knot. An easy to remember website we can place on your Save the Date and Invitation that we set up to forward to your Knot or WeddingWire page just as we did for Lauren and Drew. On your Knot or WeddingWire page you can easily update information with direct links to your Hotel accommodations, things for guests to do and any other important information they may need. This is a big time saver for you and a big relief for your guests having the ability to easily access the information needed.

Keep in mind, the reverse is true as well. If you are having a local Wedding but your partner has family, or at least a good portion of family and friends in other parts of the country. Or does your family have many relatives coming from outside of the States. If either is the case, having a Save the Date would probably work best.

Case 2: Holiday
Its a celebration! It’s Labor Day Weekend and you are going to end the Summer with a new partner. Your family and friends wouldn’t want to miss it for anything. But when you are going to a Catering/Banquet facility they are going to want numbers. The dreaded “final guest count”. So yes, you have decided to use Labor Day Weekend to celebrate. Yes of course your family and close friends will attend but the fringe family and guests. What about cousin Jamie you see every few years at a family picnic when she is town. What about the 16 people you are inviting from work. Those fringe people, while not fringe to you personally may not be as willing and able to sacrifice a Holiday for your Wedding. So you think you are inviting 175 people. The Banquet facility says you are paying for a minimum of 150 guests regardless of how many show up and that fringe count is there. Give that group more than enough time to get the information they need. Send out a Save the Date.

Case 3: A Family Affair
There are battles and there is the war. It’s your wedding. Period. Remember that always. But sometimes Mom has a small request and sometimes she may have a lot of big requests. We have seen both sides. But sometimes if Mom really thinks you should do the Save the Date because her generation grew up with that as the ritual of Weddings. Consider bending for her. For Dad. For Grandma. Or for Grandpa. Remember its about the war, not the battle. Those small olive branches, if not desperately important to you, can go a long way.

Conclusion: Your Wedding. Your Decision. Period. Just keep in mind some of the situations that we discussed and by all means if you have any questions, just give us a call 732.4970391. Text us 732.497.8850. We live the Wedding Industry and we are here to help.

Look for future posts we will have on Save the Date ideas. Dealing with Wedding wording, having a Wedding on a Holiday, Sending a Save the Date via Facebook, Deciding to get married in a Church or not and much more. Join the Newsletter and keep up to date.

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